The Tree That Said No: Rewriting "The Giving Tree" with Boundaries (and Backbone)

Being bendy requires learning how to set self-care boundaries best where boundaries become medicine.

Once upon a time, there was a tree. But not *that* tree. Not the one you’re thinking of — the self-sacrificing doormat of a trunk from Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree.

No, *this* tree had chronic illness. And she knew better.

Reclaiming the Tree

You probably grew up reading The Giving Tree. It’s the classic, syrup-soaked storybook tale of a tree that “loved a boy.” The boy takes her apples, her branches, her trunk… until all that’s left is a stump with no boundaries, no bark, no backbone — just quiet compliance and co-dependence, dressed up as devotion.

It was supposed to be about unconditional love. But what it *really* taught us?

- How to burn out by being “nice.”

- How to equate self-worth with self-sacrifice.

- How to become a hollowed-out shell of a human (or a stump) who gives until they disappear.

Sound familiar, spoonies?

In The New Version, the Tree Has a Spine

Let’s flip the script. In *our* version, the tree gets wise. She starts therapy. Learns about somatics. Starts listening to…